The company you keep while smoking weed matters. You want to be with people who bring fun, engage you in deep conversations, and spread the good vibes. You want to light your joint knowing that the person you’re smoking with builds the memories— not diluting the broth of your high with unnecessary arguments or baseless theories.
Besides, you want to be sure you’re not stoning with snitches. The moments of highness should not leave you feeling vulnerable and insecure.
Instead, every session should be a bonding experience— both with yourself and the buddies. So next time you hear someone evading a session with someone, just know they understand the pain of sharing a good join with an ass***. Here are 10 types of stoners you should avoid at all costs:
Table of Contents
1. The Paranoid Stoner
When you stone, you want to be at peace with yourself and your crew. The last thing you want is someone who gets your adrenaline sky-high. But these paranoid kids can’t let you enjoy your high moments in peace, the moment the weed hits him, he becomes too insecure with paranoia.
One minute he’s thinking about cops, the next, he’s removing all his clothes and tossing them in the washer, too afraid of the weed stank.
The paranoid stoner may get you running away from nothing, so yeah, avoid them if you want to enjoy some peace after hitting the spliff.
2. The Lecturer Stoner
This stoner claims to know a lot of things about marijuana and the smoking culture and might spend an hour telling the history of 420.
They will take a massive chunk of your high time explaining the difference between Indica and Sativa, or the difference between the strains.
While it can be annoying to be in such a class when you should be stoning, listen when you can, they might share valuable lessons. Still, don’t let the lecturer stoner spoil your smoking session with endless explanations.
3. The Ball Hog Stoner
I bet you wouldn’t want to stone with a ball hog stoner. The ball hog stoner is, plainly put, selfish and rude. They won’t pass the joint, no matter the hints you give.
In the end, you have to request them to pass the joint, which might sound a little rude, but who cares?
The ball hog stoner is the kind of stoner you dislike the first day you meet them and continue to hate years after your first encounter.
4. The Lying Stoner
Hell no! You don’t wanna smoke with a stoner who has a pile of shitty lies. Trust me, it isn’t even funny how they coin inconsistent lies that they forget the moment they hit the third spliff.
One time I stoned with someone who kept telling us how well he knew Ty Dollar. Dude lied about having met Ty Dollar and shared a spliff at the Heathrow Airport!
Crazy stuff!
The worst point is, the lying stoner expects you to take his lies and not question. They’re too sensitive with their lies, the moment you insinuate they are lying, they get so damn angry, they can drop your bong. You don’t want to deal with that, do you?
5. The Chain Skipper
This kind of stoner never waits for their turn. They skip the chain and steal puffs and behave like nobody notices. Though they never intend to harm anyone, the act of skipping chain isn’t only disrespectful, but also demeaning.
6. The Conspiracy Theorist
If you have stoned long enough, you have met a lot of conspiracy theorist stoners. Picture this; you are in the middle of a smoking session then someone comes up with an argument how the Illuminati is using the 666 code to control your thinking.
What about the nasty stories about Hitler being hidden in a cave? I don’t know about you, but I treasure my high moments to lose them on nasty conspiracy theories.
7. The Me vs. You Stoner
These are the worst stoners to stone with. They have a lot of insecurities, so they mask it by creating a contest out of every subject.
They will be shouting to everyone how they know how to roll better joints than you. If you mention that you were a quarterback in high school, they want a part of that glory too.
Worse, if it’s something they can’t compete on, they will trash it. This kind of stoner can engage you in endless arguments— not to pass any new information, but to prove that they know better than anyone else.
8. The Trash-talking Stoner
Have you ever stoned with someone who keeps complaining about the strain of weed after stoning?
They’re like ‘Dawg, you’re smoking shit men, I’ve got amazing Blue Dream back at home man.
Damn! Who can stomach such level of ungratefulness?
Sure, we can’t always love the same strains, but isn’t there a polite way of saying NO?
This kind of stoner fills the room with negative energy, and that’s the last thing you need in a smoking buddy.
Worse, the trash-talking stoner doesn’t only trash the weed— they trash everything. They never have anything positive to say about people and other stuff. You stone with this kind of stoner for long, and you might as well absorb their bitching tendencies. Avoid the trash-talking stoner at all costs!
9.The Empty Wallet Stoner
This type of stoner is never helping with anything. He never brings anything— neither weed nor snacks. He’s always taking and taking but never gives. Avoid them. You can’t be giving free weed all the time.
10. The DIY Stoner
This smoker is very experimental with the weed. This stoner can teach you 101 ways to use weed. They can create a bong out of coke bottles, which I find amazing, but the DIY smoker might waste all your weed on these experiments.
Well, some stoners can be nasty. But the weed is always fun to share. Few things make me happier than sharing a spliff with my buddies, maybe because I choose my stoners correctly. Perhaps you should put some thought on the people you invite for the sesh.
